A List Of My Flaws

So I’m a functional adult, and pretty damn cool. In fact, I am actually way better than you are in just about every way possible. As much as I hate to admit it, a lot of my charm comes from knowing that whenever I take a shit, I actually lose more brain cells (out of my ass) than you actually have in your brain (which is not the same as your ass).

We are all given opportunities to be a part of certain things bigger than us… 

Like when the old beaten up fighter gains respect by challenging the badass half his age.  Like when the geek gets the girl after a magical kiss that neither of them expected.  Like when people stand up and cheer for you, for something you did, and… 

… then you go back to your life of pain and welfare.

You might see this as a rant that happens to include movie plots and generic situations that come to mind while typing…

… but I see it as this.

I have the opportunity to have dinner and see a show with people who I REALLY want to be part of my life, and while that is great and all, I really don’t want to fuck things up.  That is a really bold statement and, for whatever reason, I decided to write about it.

Here are some of the reasons that I am concerned about tomorrow’s  “first date”…

I can’t say a person’s name. Really. It all comes from back in the day when I knew a girl for a long time (her name was Erin) and because I never said her name, she asked me to say her name. Aaron, Eric, blah… anyhow, I fucked up, when I shouldn’t have, and since that day, I hold that with me.

I respect the situation more than I probably should. That leads to bad things, like when you’re white and feel the need to tell the angry Mexicans in the Mission that their rage probably stems from the fact that most people within their ethnic group were beaten over multiple generations and are shown no respect…

Anyhow, this isn’t over…

I really LOVE the opportunity to hang out with people who are awesome.  I just don’t have the confidence to question all your life choices, destroy your career, fuck up all that you know is correct… and that really frustrates me.