How did I get here?

I didn’t pay attention to politics when I was young.  I knew of Clinton’s penis: where it had been and what it had left behind.  My Uncle informed me of Bill’s drug running days and how he had murdered people.  I knew of Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp.  I’d heard about militias and Timothy McVeigh, and how Marilyn Manson inspired mass murder at Columbine.  Instead of spending my time staying politically aware, I drank and inhaled and fucked in and around brief periods of college attendance.  I had better things to do than figure out the intricacies of politics, particularly when it centered on the President’s package.  I was far more concerned with avoiding sobriety and getting my package some female attention, than closely following the governing of my country.  That all changed on September 11th, 2001. 

By the fall of 2001, I’d met my future wife, graduated, and taken a job in California.  Life seemed good, I had settled into my job, and we were enjoying life.  I finally had my shit somewhat together.  A few months later, my wife woke me up and told me we were being attacked, that someone had flown a plane into the World Trade Center.   After twenty minutes of snooze, curious, I morning walked to the television. I watched as the second tower fell; it was awful and surreal.  The day that followed was a blur, at work some people attempted to stay busy, but most of us coalesced around the lunch room television trying to make sense of it.  Nobody appeared to understand why this had happened nor what it would mean.  

I was frustrated with my inability to comprehend the dynamics behind such an attack, or even have some basic understanding of our history in the region.  It was a harsh and much needed wake up call.  In the days and weeks that followed, I began reading more and more news and politics online.  I started with the usual sources:  CNN, New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, moved on to foreign papers and political blogs.  I followed link upon link for whole days and weeks at a time.  I watched cable news shows, Sunday talk shows, the Nightly news, both national and local.  I learned to never trust the television.  I watched as we failed to get Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan, already looking ahead to Iraq.  Millions of people around the world protested against a war that hadn’t happened yet.   I had learned enough to know this war was a mistake, based on lies and manipulations, a mistake we would all pay for one way or another.  I ranted and raved to my wife, my Mother, my coworkers, anyone who would listen, and many who wouldn’t.  The Iraq invasion began on my twenty-eighth birthday.  I watched on television as the bombs fell; I heard cheers through my neighbor’s windows.  I felt empathy for all involved in the death and destruction raining down while meekly celebrating living another year.    

Today we’re slowly leaving Iraq, nearly eight years since the invasion began.  There are more troops in Afghanistan then at any time during that war, a war that is now the longest war in the history of the United States, and we still haven’t caught Osama bin Laden.  Domestic politics dominates the news; the details are as ugly and messy as the lead up to war.   America has as different a president as our system will allow and on my thirty-sixth birthday he ordered Tomahawk missiles rained down on Libya.  Eight years later and still more gifts of death and destruction in the name of freedom, human rights, and empire.  For me, these tragedies and wars are a wake-up call to pay attention, to put some real effort into figuring out what is really going on, not blindly accepting what my parents, friends, teachers, political representatives, or newscasters have told me is true or real.  I want to share what I’ve learned, and am still learning, with anyone who will listen.  I want to point out the bad arguments, the lies, and the manipulations, the bullshit.  I want to break through preconceived notions and challenge assumptions.  I want to make up for my previous apathy and ignorance and wake up as many people as I can.  Please pay attention and keep me honest.