Bay Area Thanksgiving
Pickle 
I was supposed to fly “home” to eat food with my parents the other day. I didn’t.
The second I mentioned that I didn’t have plans for the holiday, everyone jumped to the rescue. I’m pretty sure that I hate everyone and everything but… it really pisses me off (trying to find a reason why) that I was invited into everyone’s home for a family event… with open arms.
I had dinner with a friend and his wife at a restaurant they’ve been going to for years… (their private dinner was a party of 3).
I showed up in the mountains where a friend was hosting his parents… and now… me..
I’ve got pies, leftovers…
It makes it really difficult to be a total jackass and think that the entire world is shit when you see that everyone around you is actually pretty awesome… but I’ll try. So as you welcome me into your home… your life… Thanksgiving only exists to boost sales on Friday so you can get rid of all your inventory and funnel shit towards an infinite channel of consumers who all suck.
If I offered to shit on your face for half off… you lemmings would stand in line.
Pickle on Nov 29, 2010 | tagged in Funny Bone (Humor), Organic (Lifestyle), USDA Prime (Non-Fiction) 
Reader Comments (5)
First.
My friends are my family so I can totally relate.
Holidays are very trying for me. The music is just aweful. They had some holiday music at Subway today and I was thinking, "It's not even December yet!" I really felt bad for the employees there.
really momus? douche.
thanksgiving is awesome. food is awesome. good friends, also awesome.
christmas can suck a fucking cock till it explodes in a cesspool of jersey shore jizz. fuck christmas.
Coming soon to a theater near you: Christmas Jizz at the Jersey Shore Cesspool.
Obviously a joke Penemue, just getting in line for a half off Hot Karl. Get your sarcasm detector checked out, it's failing you.
All holidays are equally stupid and arbitrary. I have good food and hang with good friends whenever I want to, not as defined by tradition or a group mentality.