Spork Filled Semi-Truck Jackknifed on I-80. News at 11.

Walking down Valencia in the Mission I saw my friend, Dean. “I thought that I might run into you.” He said. ‘No shit. I live here.’ I thought. “What are you doing up here?” I then received some vague associations and cryptic responses. When Dean is in this mode he is usually about to do something drastic. This is one of my pet peeves, when my male friends act like insane women. See possible outcomes below.

1) Dean is moving to Tennessee because he got laid off from his job. He is, somehow, still hirable at his last job there at the local lumber mill. The lumber mill seemed a dangerous place to work and it consistently reached 115F degrees in violation of OSHA regulations.

2) Going to jail in Tennessee. “Want to clear up my warrant.” I can hear Dean saying. In reality running away from something in CA, weather real or imagined.

3) Moving to San Francisco. Probably the best outcome for Dean. Taking on school debt and transferring to SFSU to finish his degree. Already has a part time job in vicinity.

4) Moving to his parent’s house. This is an outlier but cannot be completely ruled out.

5) Getting back with ex-girlfriend and driving cross-country to NYC. NYC is where her dad should send her to work in the industry that closely aligns with her degree. Probably craziest thing on this list, so in Dean’s world, the most plausible.

5A) Has started drinking again. (See #5)

6) Moving to Florida to be with his grandparents. Dean said that he is starting to become sensitive to the cold and “winter” is around the corner.

7) Going to jail in the south bay. Dean’s probation has been violated and the judge threw the book at him. DUI upgraded to a felony and he goes to rape-you-in-the-ass-state-prison.

Stay Tuned!

Comments

[Penemue]

while any of those seem likely from him, sadly, none are even close to true.